Confusion
by XxFleetingEmbracexX
Summary: Rin doesn't understand what it is that he's feeling for Haru now. He can name what he's felt for the boy before, but now it's just a jumbled mess that he can't make sense of. Drabble. Implied!RinxHaru. Set after episode 4.


**Author Note: Shoot me, please! Here is another short drabbly-thing for this beautiful fandom. Still trying to practice these characters. Can you tell I'm avoiding Haru-chan? *Sigh* He scares me, you guys! I don't know if I'll be able to write him since I love his character, but I feel like I'm gonna mess him up so bad and I need more info on him before I can even think of doing any fics with dialogue. Well, I've probably wrecked Makoto in my other drabble, and this one is all Rin, so might as well take a swing at Haru-chan too? I'll shut up now.**

**Warnings: Implied slash/yaoi/shounen-ai/boys love. Spoilers for episode 4 I guess? **

**Pairing: Implied!RinxHaru, one-sided or not is up to you!**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way own Free! Iwatobi Swin Club.**

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Rin had a dream, a goal, to become an Olympic swimmer. To become the next Michael Phelps or Mark Spitz, hell he wouldn't even mind to be compared to Ryan Lochte. This was what he strived for. He trained tirelessly to become faster, stronger, better. Yet… he still failed to beat Haru. He'd _won_ an impromptu race, but Haru hadn't given it his all and had been ill prepared. No, he needed to beat Haru in a real race to prove he had gotten better.

Rin scowled and gripped his hair in both of his hands, his frustrations brimming.

In the beginning, when he first met Haru, it had been curiosity that attracted him to the other. He had wanted to see the rumored boy with his own eyes. He hadn't been disappointed. The boy was fast, graceful, and oddly fascinating to watch. Curiosity slowly morphed into admiration. With such natural talent Rin had been sure Haru was also aspiring to be an Olympian.

"_No, I just like to swim Free."_

Those words had Rin gaping. He'd been shocked to hear Haru say that with such an impassive voice. He was so unlike Makoto, who was always throwing kind smiles at everyone, or Nagisa, who loved to chatter on about one thing or another. Haru was calmer, quiet, to the point where he could be mistaken for someone who didn't care about anyone around him. Rin knew that to be untrue, even to this day he knew Haru cared. Rin bit down on his inner cheek.

Admiration changed to jealousy. Why was it that even though he trained harder, trained more, until his arms and legs burned from the inside, why was it that Haru was still better than him? His younger self hadn't felt it, perhaps the innocence of childhood shielding him from it. Now, however, he felt it in every nerve of his body. It sizzled under his skin whenever he thought of the blue-eyed boy.

Jealousy… but, there was something else there.

_Hate?_

No, he'd never felt hate towards Haru, nor did he think he could.

What was that other feeling then?

Rin groaned, his mind was going at 100 miles per hour, drifting from one thought to another, one memory to the next. His eyes snapped open when he remembered something.

That _other _feeling, the unknown one, had intensified this morning.

At the shopping center. When he had Haru pinned to the fence, aside from his irritation at Haru's refusal, that other feeling had bubbled under his frustration. Surfacing briefly before it drowned under his conflicting emotions. It now coiled and unfurled as he recalled Haru's widened eyes; the way his chest had risen and fallen with each labored breath.

Excitement? Was that the word? Desire?

Rin grunted, covering his mouth as his cheeks earned a bit of heat, his heartbeat quickening in rhythm. His body deciphering the feeling faster than his mind could.

_What the hell is __**this**__?_

**...**

**Fin.**

**...**

**Author Note: In my headcanon Rin (and probably the other boys too) have been so preoccupied with swimming this, swimming that, that they have completely forgotten that they are going through puberty until it hits them square in the face in the form of hormones. Also, this could tie in with my other drabble, but you don't need to read it unless you want to. **

**Questions, comments, concerns? Review and let me know! Thank you very much for reading. **


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